Year Of

Choose your own adventure

For the last couple of Januarys, my friend Casey has been announcing, to no one in particular, what it’s “The Year Of.” Not to be confused with the Chinese Zodiac (shout out to my Goats), this practice is much like Gretchen Rubin’s “Word of The Year” ritual. Picking a symbol to guide your next rotation around the sun can offer purpose, serenity, or, in Casey’s case (fun turn of phrase), justification. Her most recent Year Ofs: “The Year of The Martini” and “The Year of The Bitch.”

Year Ofs must come naturally. I cannot choose your Year Of, but I can offer inspiration.

Year of The Snail 

Move slow, but make a mark. Come out when it rains. Take extended naps. Refer to yourself as a delicacy. 

Year of The Q-Tip

Insist on operating in a way that has been deemed unhealthy by most medical professionals. Clean out the build up. Help people listen. Listen to yourself. Remember: in certain peoples’ homes, you are nowhere to be found. 

Year of The Fig 

Finally acknowledge the dying wasp inside of you. Learn to love it. Spread yourself over a piece of something crusty and be devoured. You are wild, sticky, and sweet. Fall when you are ripe and rot if necessary. 

Year of The Huff 

You are inhaling. You are working hard. You are near a goal but not quite finished. You need to gather your strength. It’s kind of annoying. You want to do drugs, so do them. Just know that you can’t hold your breath too long. Every Year of The Huff gives way to a Year of The Puff. 

Year of The Puff 

It’s over. Like actually, over.

Year of The Frittata 

Open your fridge and use what you have. This is about creativity and feeding yourself. It’s not about going to Whole Foods and buying expensive nut milk you don’t need. Stay. Make it work. 

Year of The Imperfect Circle 

Try and try and try and try and refuse to trace. 

Year of The Wooden Shoe 

Uncomfortable but kind of perfect. 

Year of The Fjord 

You are not narrow, you are focused. You are deep. You are diving into the landscape of a topic that is your life. You are not going wide. You are staying local. It’ll get brackish and the current will be strong. Fine! Excellent!

Year of The Cornichon 

For tiny, tart, cuties only.

Year of Put Your Damn Dog On A Leash

This is the year you finally drum up the nerve tell your neighbors to put their damn dog on a leash. You keep telling yourself it’s “none of your business,” but what if you made it your business?

Year of “We Know What You’re Doing, Megan” 

We’re not idiots. We know.

Year of The Search For Your Exoplanet

You are on the hunt for a planet outside your galaxy but similar to your own, where conditions may or may not have lead to a completely different manifestation of life and values. You are interested in learning from this strange place, where it rains rubies and someone cooks their pancakes with nitrous oxide. Just be careful not to get too obsessed with someone orbiting a dead star. I know it seems cool and romantic but that’ll catch up to you.

Year of Accepting That Some People Dislike You And Maybe That’s Actually For The Best Because It Means That You’re Making Yourself Vulnerable And That’s Kind Of Brave If You Really Think About It

A totally impersonal suggestion!

Year of Dining Solo Without A Phone Or Book

Also known as the Year of Eavesdropping.

Year of The Year

By golly, time is a construct, isn’t she? You gotta respect it. Cheers to The Year herself!!